How to Stop Giving Poeple Power Over You
Imagine waking up feeling refreshed and starting your day on a positive note. You do your chores in the house, leave for the office, commute and when you finally reach your workplace your positive day suddenly ends up becoming a horrible one because you heard a coworker pass a derogatory comment about you and now you simply cannot stop thinking about it.
"Don't let the naysayers bring you down" is a quote all of us have come across at some point in our lives. And more often than not it is easier said than done. Personally, it has affected me a lot in the past. We as humans are social creatures and we may deny it all we want, but we do care about what others think of us.
When we receive a compliment, it makes our day and lifts our mood. On the contrary, sometimes a negative comment single-handedly brings down our energy. And in our quest for seeking validation, sometimes we do all we can to avoid receiving any negative remarks.
While it is not possible to avoid every instance when someone says something snide about you, you can work your way through it without letting it occupy all the space in your mind.
Here are some tips on how you can stop letting other people affect you:
Take responsibility for your thoughts
The first step is to acknowledge that these thoughts affect you. Do not blame anyone else for making you feel the way you do. If a situation is negatively affecting you, think about how you can make it better for yourself so you don't end up overthinking and delving deeper into it.
Realize that you have no control over other people
You absolutely have no control over others or their thoughts about you! They are going to do what they are going to do and eventually it is up to you to understand that the only person you can control, is you.
Talk to the people you love
Sometimes, the best way to get out of such situations is to surround yourself with the people you love and the ones who love you. Spending time with loved ones is a great way to forget about worrisome situations and induce some positivity in yourself.
Start practising conscious detachment
Emotional detachment is a skill that you can learn! It will help you become free of worry and anxiety that certain people bring into your life. Emotional detachment doesn't mean you remove the person from your life, but rather take away the emotions that their actions awaken in you.
Take a pause, breathe and check in on yourself
During such situations, simply hit pause and take deep breaths. It will immensely help you in calming yourself down. Recognize how you feel and acknowledge it. You can even try writing down your thoughts. Sometimes, jotting your thoughts down on paper can help you deal with them quicker than usual. You can consider practising meditation or even listening to some soulful music.
Pro tip: Sometimes, it so happens that other people's comments or lashing out at you may have nothing to do with you but everything to do with them or the situation they are going through. Maybe they had a fight with their spouse or maybe they missed out on the opportunity that they had been working hard for. Be mindful. Empathize with them but don't enable this behaviour as this may lead to issues in the future. If it consistently keeps on happening over and over again and bothering you, consider letting them go.
To sum it all up, you cannot let someone else's behaviour towards you steal you of your happiness. And also, holding onto a grudge may come naturally to you but it has never done anyone any good. So, work towards forgiving and moving on. It’s okay to accept that some things are simply out of your control and letting go of them is going to help you become a stronger, happier version of yourself.
As I said, it is natural for us to seek validation from others. But instead of giving them the power over you, give that power to yourself. Affirmations go a long way in helping to deal with such situations. So the next time someone passes a negative comment about you, just whisper to yourself: ‘I am strong. I am unaffected by the judgment of others and no one else can take away my peace. I choose joy, happiness and positivity!’ Hope this helps :)